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Location: huntsville, alabama, United States

i am an addict of laughter and also sadness. i guess basically i am very confused...

Friday, August 13, 2004

my dog boo

okay, i have noticed that i have been spending a lot of time leaving comments on other people's blogs. this is all well and good, but the problem is that i have been neglecting my poor ole blog. i realize that i need to change this, and today is the first day of my new blog life.

i wonder if melonface has written any new blogs... be right back.

okay, i am back. let's see... what is on my mind... my dog... yes, my dog is ... how should i say this... very dumb even for a dog. i am beginning to wonder if he should be sent to a special doggie school. we went to obedience school, and we didn't do well. he just could not get along with other dogs. sure, i tried to talk to the instructors and other dog owners, but they all seem to think it's my dog that is the problem. anyway, we got kicked out of the school. i mean this was a prestigious doggie school where if he could have done well, man, his future would have been bright. so, anyway, now i am kinda homeschooling the dog. everyday i try to teach him to sit, stand, and roll over. he just does not seem interested though, most of the time he just ignores me and keeps on typing away on his computer. ridiculous... right? i mean i keep telling him, listen you dog... nobody is going to read a book written by a dog, especially not an autobiography. i just don't know what else to do at this point...


Blogger Suzanne said...

I for one am glad that you have stopped neglecting your dear old
blog! I have been very concerned about it. I have checked on him?
every day for you and he has told me that you just don't care anymore, but I assured him that you were just going through peri-
male menopause and that you'd be right back! That is was just a phase that you were going through right now.

It surely sounds like your dog has been needing your attentions also! What am I to think of you, Larry? I am astounded with this neglect! I think you need to write those Suzanne and Maria people and tell them that you will continue to be there for them but that there are more important "things" and "dogs" in your life now.
I am certain that they will understand.
PS With the way the doggie school system is going these days, I feel most sure homeschooling is the answer! Yours truly from bloggerville

August 13, 2004 at 9:41 PM  
Blogger melonface said...

Hmm.. maybe your dog needs remedial school, you know like those kids that go to school in the portable across the football field, in the far corner of the school lot. Does your dog do drugs, have you noticed any strange behaviour? Maybe he has begun rolling with the wrong crowd. Or maybe he's gay, and thinks that you just don't understand. Try making him a nice dinner, pouring some wine and talking about your problems. It can work wonders for a pet/owner relationship. It worked a couple of years ago for my hamster and I, and we had never been closer, until he passed in his sleep several months later. God rest your soul, Gordon. Anyways, try the wine thing, or maybe a nice relaxing back massage and some chocolates. After that, your dog will surely go to bed with you. I mean how could he refuse? Oh wait, what was the original problem you had? I completely forget....

August 14, 2004 at 12:39 AM  
Blogger Suzanne said...

I'm up early here. I could not stop thinking about that little bit of Starbucks Breakfast coffee that I had leftover as a gift my sweet nephew left me from his visit here. So, here I am! Yeah!
Anyway, I did read "Traumatized" and althought as you said it wasn't exactly something to find funny perhaps (I sure hope St.
Francis isn't listening at the moment), I too found myself laughing. You're right! It was one of those things I cannot understand about humans...why do we do that? There must be something very strange way deep inside of this that we cannot
control ourselves. For me, it is like the old 3 Stooges movies.
I used to laugh so hard at those - although I wanted to punch Moe in the nose a few times myself - he was way too abusive to those poor other two guys! I didn't care for his "doo" either! Anyway,
I find this most interesting what you have just brought up.
For me it brought up a story that I'll try to make very short here.
We had rented a cabin in the woods once. It was a chilly morning and I set out in our van to get a few supplies at the nearby grocery. As I was traveling down a winding road, my car engine
decided to die out on me. I pressed my brake (or so I thought I did!) and it didn't appear to be working well. I looked ahead and thought to myself "Oh,dear! What do I do now?!!!" Ahead was a line of thin trunk trees but there appeared to be a space big enough between two right in front of me that I could let the van head that way and guess what??? I could open the door and just jump right out, yep, bail right on out of there! Bet you think I didn't, don't you? Well, you are so wrong - yes I did! I did a
good job of it too, I might add! My van managed to wedge itself
between two tree trunks and limbs and stop - only slicing off the two side mirrors in the process! I shakily got up and decided that I must go back to the cabin to inform my husband of the disaster. I realized right away that I had unfortunately hurt my little ankle. Well, now I want you to imagine the next scene. Here I go hobbling up and around the curves barely moving at any rate of speed that one could even calculate. The next thing my ear hear are guns blasting away in the background. "OH!MY Lord!"
I thought to myself...instantly I cried "Don't shoot! I'm a human
being!" (Now don't crack up too much here!!!} Well, afterall, they were hunters! How was I to know that they would not mistake
me for some of graceful fawn for their greedy little hands to capture? Somehow, I managed to get to the cabin and fell upon the sofa. My husband barely said "Are you allright? Where's the van?"
He dashed out the door and my kids just stared with their mouths open! Now I wish I had a film of the entire event! I'm still not sure to this day if the van was more important than the wife and mother of my husband's children?!

August 14, 2004 at 8:25 AM  
Blogger Suzanne said...

HEY! I wasn't finished yet! I was just getting started! :)
Actually, I am about finished. I just wanted to add that this was the main reason I found "Traumatized" so funny! It's in that moment of desperation - that moment when one has to think fast, that we find our true selves and how we will react! It isn't always pretty but it sure is funny sometimes! So, Larry, don't feel too badly.

By the way this is a true story only the names have not been changed but left out to protect the innocent! However, if you don't believe my story, you can check in with Maria!

August 14, 2004 at 8:29 AM  

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