neighbor kids
so, i have these neighbor kids who like to come over to my house. what can i say? kids just love me. anyway, we are sitting at my front porch, and there is josh, who is 8, and there is jonah, who is 9, and there is tyler, who is 10, and then there is... okay, i am making these names up. i have no idea what their names are and all I know is that they are old enough to be out of diapers and not old enough to drive. i just thought if i acted like i knew their names and their age, it would make it sound like i really care about kids.
anyway, so they are sitting around drinking my beer, and i am like... hey, you kids stop drinking my beer. and they just laugh and laugh, and you know when kids are laughing, it's really hard to resist. so, anyway, i let them have their beer. also, last time i tried to stop them, they beat the living day lights out of me. so, i guess you could say we have this like father/son kind of relationship.
so, anyway, they asked me if i have ever been with a woman. well, i mean i have this image to protect, so i told them... yeah, sure, i have... plenty of times. and they were like ... "really, so what is it like?"... at this point, i guess i got a little bit nervous and started to go into panic mode. i had to think really fast, and only thing i could think of was what i learned in the sex education class in high school. so, i said... yeah, i was with a woman and i got gonorrhea.
anyway, so, now the kids think i am like the coolest guy ever. but, my point here is that you should never lie even if the kids think you are cool. from now on, i am not going to lie to those kids ever again...
anyway, so they are sitting around drinking my beer, and i am like... hey, you kids stop drinking my beer. and they just laugh and laugh, and you know when kids are laughing, it's really hard to resist. so, anyway, i let them have their beer. also, last time i tried to stop them, they beat the living day lights out of me. so, i guess you could say we have this like father/son kind of relationship.
so, anyway, they asked me if i have ever been with a woman. well, i mean i have this image to protect, so i told them... yeah, sure, i have... plenty of times. and they were like ... "really, so what is it like?"... at this point, i guess i got a little bit nervous and started to go into panic mode. i had to think really fast, and only thing i could think of was what i learned in the sex education class in high school. so, i said... yeah, i was with a woman and i got gonorrhea.
anyway, so, now the kids think i am like the coolest guy ever. but, my point here is that you should never lie even if the kids think you are cool. from now on, i am not going to lie to those kids ever again...
posted by larrykim | 8:38 PM
3 Comments:
Nope lying to kids never has worked well for me either. For exapmle, the time I told my three year old that if he did not behave a monster was gonna come out of his closet and get him. It worked real well that night, but ever since then he has this extreme fear of monsters in his room. He thinks if he does one thing out of line, they will come and gobble him up! I feel terrible beacuse as a parent you are supposed to scare the monsters away, not help the kids dream them up!
Ok, I was joking, your twisted humor is rubbing off on me these days! :) Actually I never did tell him there were monsters waiting to get him when he was naughty, but I do warn him about cops!
hahaha... you know what? i think that is like the biggest complement. imitation is the biggest form of flattery. anyway, i do try to rub stuff on people though, usually it's in a wrong way. i want all of you in the blog world to know that twisted sense of humor can be a dangerous thing. you need to be very careful how you use it. leave it to the professionals, and don't try it at home without proper supervision and training. :-)
by the way, i am offering a twisted humor introduction class. if you would like to enroll in my class, please send me money.
Hahaha heheee, you are cracking me up as usual! It's way to early for me to grasp what you just said, maybe a few more cups of joe and I'll try again! lol!
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