how to say.. no
okay, i have this problem... i just have such a difficult time saying no. this morning, i am missing half a day (well, actually more than that) of work to give this girl a ride out of town. i know that i can say no... but then i really can't. i mean i really tried to say no to her last night, and i just couldn't do it. it came out... no.. problem.
anyway, this problem has gotten me in few troubles. for instance, last year i ended up with no shirt, no shoes, and a half eaten sneakers bar in mexico because i just couldn't say no. well, i guess that is another blog entry at some point. but, anyway, my point is that it's like a disease with me. i need help. is there a twelve step program for learning to say no. do you think it has to do with my insecurity or self-hatred or something like that?
i have come up with few possible options for my current case:
1. legally change my name and move to canada.
2. tell her i have cancer and check into a hospital just in case she checks it out.
3. stage a murder and try to get on the newspaper so that she will hear about it.
i like number 2, but that may end up costing me quite a bit of money.
what makes me really mad is... this is like 5th or 6th time she has asked me to do this in last couple of months. i mean, i would never ask for gas money or anything, and she says that she doesn't know anyone she can trust, but i am beginning to really wonder if she really needs to take these trips. oh, by the way, her car broke down, and she is from another town working in this city during the week. i think she may have a love interest in her town and that is why she keeps wanting to go there. but hey, i wouldn't be the one to ask personal questions like that.
well, the problem is... usually, i would go out of my way to help people. not just friends or family, but any stranger that needs help. but, at this point, i just feel like she is taking advantage of me and she has no appreciation for all that i am going through to be able to take time off from work. last two times i did this, i had to work on weekends because i got so behind schedule on things. worse yet, i ended up missing desperate housewives. i mean, what if i get fired. i love my job! nah, i won't get fired, people really like me at work and i am good (well, better than others) at my job.
anyway, i know you women folks out there are good at saying no, so tell me, how do i do it without sounding all mean and nasty?
anyway, this problem has gotten me in few troubles. for instance, last year i ended up with no shirt, no shoes, and a half eaten sneakers bar in mexico because i just couldn't say no. well, i guess that is another blog entry at some point. but, anyway, my point is that it's like a disease with me. i need help. is there a twelve step program for learning to say no. do you think it has to do with my insecurity or self-hatred or something like that?
i have come up with few possible options for my current case:
1. legally change my name and move to canada.
2. tell her i have cancer and check into a hospital just in case she checks it out.
3. stage a murder and try to get on the newspaper so that she will hear about it.
i like number 2, but that may end up costing me quite a bit of money.
what makes me really mad is... this is like 5th or 6th time she has asked me to do this in last couple of months. i mean, i would never ask for gas money or anything, and she says that she doesn't know anyone she can trust, but i am beginning to really wonder if she really needs to take these trips. oh, by the way, her car broke down, and she is from another town working in this city during the week. i think she may have a love interest in her town and that is why she keeps wanting to go there. but hey, i wouldn't be the one to ask personal questions like that.
well, the problem is... usually, i would go out of my way to help people. not just friends or family, but any stranger that needs help. but, at this point, i just feel like she is taking advantage of me and she has no appreciation for all that i am going through to be able to take time off from work. last two times i did this, i had to work on weekends because i got so behind schedule on things. worse yet, i ended up missing desperate housewives. i mean, what if i get fired. i love my job! nah, i won't get fired, people really like me at work and i am good (well, better than others) at my job.
anyway, i know you women folks out there are good at saying no, so tell me, how do i do it without sounding all mean and nasty?
posted by larrykim | 8:00 AM
4 Comments:
Here's how ya do it Larry, really simple.
You just stand there, or sit, or lie there.
Open your mouth, say no.
Or like this.
No.
Even this.
Noooooooo.
Or this.
Nope.
This one maybe.
Nada.
This one is good.
Nyet.
This.
nononononononononononono.
This.
Hell No!
If none of those no's work for you here are a few choice excuses you can whip out.
Tell her you hit and killed a deer with your car the evening before and instead of leaving it on the side of the road you placed the poor thing in your car to take home and butcher for your own consumption and it made a wee little mess on the seat.
Tell her you just got done eating a large meal of califlower and cabbage with a side of beans, smile and then pat your belly.
Take her in the car to her destination but along the way stop at every gas station or rest stop and then while driving pretend you've lost a contact/eyeglass lens and swerve all over the road and then discover that it was there the whole time. After that pull out a paper sack from the back seat and ask her to put it over her head and tell her that you're running an experiement, then while the sack is over her head, (if she hasn't jumped from the open car door yet), say loud enough so she can hear that you'll be needing your sack as well and pull out another sack making sure she can hear it rustling.
All of those can be performed either on the same trip or sort of build up to it. If none of that works, have her over one evening before you're supposed to drive her somewhere again and have this ultra romantic dinner set out with candles and nice music, dim light, nicely set table, yet have tv dinners set on the table and then have this painfull conversation where you tell her that you've lived a celebate life but since you've been driving her that has changed and how you would like couple with her.
I can't imagine you'll have to get that far down on the list.
Let me know how it works out.
great comments, marsha and jenny.
i have already done the celibate and dinner thing. not to deter her from asking me to give her a ride, but to actually try to get some... needless to say, didn't work. i get the feeling you don't think that really is a good way to get intimate with a lady.... hmmm.
i like the sack idea... that sounds like fun...
Just move to Canada, it's cool here. And by cool I mean minus one trillion gazillion degrees. I'm frozen.
Here is the letter you requested. I couldn't say no:
I am writing this letter in support of larrykim’s nomination for dating you. It is a true pleasure to write this as I can honestly say that my experience in his class was one of the very best I have had during my time as a student.
I can say with certainty that larrykim exceeded my expectations and then some, introducing me to an innovative and much more effective method of dating. I have taken what I have learned from him and now apply it to my own dating as a TA in sociology. That is why I can, without hesitation, recommend larrykim for a date with you.
There, how's that for ya?!?!
By the way... HAPPY HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY. I hope it was the happiest happy day you've happily had to date.
Signed,
A damned asshole. ;)
PS: So you're from Korea? Snazzy.
I am the same way!!!! You might as well tattoo "sucker" across my forehead because I will do anything people ask of me. This of course results in me getting walked all over. I do understand and its a lot easier to say you're going to say no then actually saying no.
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