i don't believe in pre-marital sex, that is why i don't plan to marry
i was watching tlc last night, not the female r&b group that sang "waterfalls" and "no scrubs", but the learning channel, which is one of my favorite channels next to history and discovery channel. i know you probably are surprised that the playboy channel is not my favorite, but honestly i don't have that channel. anyway, they had this documentary about "sex addicts". and it got me thinking...
according to them, i think i may be a sex addict. i mean, pretty much any time of the day, i will jump at a chance to have sex with a woman... well, maybe not an ugly one... but, you know, if she is kind of hot, then sure... well... unless, she happens to be a skank and i am afraid i may catch some type of std... but, other than that... my life revolves around trying to find someone to have sex with... except, sometimes, you don't wanna deal with the bitchiness and nagging afterwards, so you rather not have sex, so you wouldn't have to deal with that later... but other than that, i am all about having sex... well, except, sometimes, i prefer a nice cup of coffee and a chocolate cake because sometimes i just don't want to have to take a shower afterwards... and also, sometimes, girls can be very demanding... like this girl would tell me to get down on my knees and bark like a dog and try to stuff things up my butt... wait, that never happened to me... but, i have heard that stuff like that happens to some people...
anyway, my point is that... well, i hate sex... especially the part where i have to get money out of the atm machine to pay their pimp.
according to them, i think i may be a sex addict. i mean, pretty much any time of the day, i will jump at a chance to have sex with a woman... well, maybe not an ugly one... but, you know, if she is kind of hot, then sure... well... unless, she happens to be a skank and i am afraid i may catch some type of std... but, other than that... my life revolves around trying to find someone to have sex with... except, sometimes, you don't wanna deal with the bitchiness and nagging afterwards, so you rather not have sex, so you wouldn't have to deal with that later... but other than that, i am all about having sex... well, except, sometimes, i prefer a nice cup of coffee and a chocolate cake because sometimes i just don't want to have to take a shower afterwards... and also, sometimes, girls can be very demanding... like this girl would tell me to get down on my knees and bark like a dog and try to stuff things up my butt... wait, that never happened to me... but, i have heard that stuff like that happens to some people...
anyway, my point is that... well, i hate sex... especially the part where i have to get money out of the atm machine to pay their pimp.
6 Comments:
That was one looooong (hilarious) unpacking of the brain!
laurzeilei, thanks, but you are just saying that to be nice... but, i like your shoes, i would so wear them...
LMAO!
Larry, no matter what you read about me, I promise, I would never put anything in your butt, ok?
ha!
lilly, thanks... because i hate to end up in the emergency room again...
catherine, i would lick your boots... just don't try to stuff your boots up my butt afterwards...
But that takes the fun out of it!
When did you get so picky about what women stick up your butt? Back in high school you let them store whatever they wanted up there. At least, that's what Tina Laird says.
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