egomaniacal me

it has come to my attention recently, and unexpectly, that there are some people out there in this world that actually do not like me. i find this hard to believe, i mean, how can anyone not like me. what is there not to love? of course, i could just ignore this person, assume that this is an anomaly, and assume that it probably will never happen again. but as you know, i have hard time letting things go and my mom will be the first to point that out. apparently, right after my birth, i attempted to go back into her womb, and there was a quite a bit of struggle. of course, the blunt of the trauma was on my mother's side, but hey, i don't remember, allright?!!

so, i have decided to analyze this. what possible reason could this person have to dislike me? is it my fragile yet gigantic ego? but, women love men with ego. that has been proven over and over again. could it be that i am not romantic? that can not be, for i have given many women some fine loving, and at times they have even given me discounts. could it be because i do not regularly bathe? but, women love rugged men. that is why i use my old spice cologne. so, what could possibly be the problem? i think it is clear that this woman must be a lesbian or crazy.

so, i walked over to my wife and i said, "you must be a lesbian or crazy". well, after the emergency room visit, i am resting comfortably in my bed with enough pain killer to down an elephant in heat. anyway, now that i think about it, i am not even married, and i don't have a wife... oh well, more pain killer for me...