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Location: huntsville, alabama, United States

i am an addict of laughter and also sadness. i guess basically i am very confused...

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

one day more...

it's been a long year already. it seems like this year has lasted longer than any that i can recall. it's only been four weeks since my mom passed away, but it seems like years ago...

when at night, i close my eyes, i can see her smiling face reassuring me that she is well. suzanne has told me something about this... feeling the presence of someone so dear, so near...

i am well. i miss her and i wish things could have been different. but, i know no matter what, things are the way they are and it really isn't that bad...

there is that fear of the unknown, thoughts of finalization, end of what we know, see, hear, smell, taste, touch, but i also know that there are realities beyond our five senses. i know it because i can feel it. i can sense her love for me more than ever before...

i have been to the cemetry few times, but i just don't feel any closer to her there. i feel much closer to her when i am alone at night and i close my eyes. i swear i can hear her voice of comfort and assurance... all is well...

3 Comments:

Blogger Suzanne said...

Her beautiful presence will always remain with you. I do not feel presence at a cemetary either, Larry. At home, pondering past moments and listening for those thoughts and words still coming into your heart. She will come forth through you and your words
when you are desiring to be kind to someone, offering heartfelt advice, praying...she will be mixed in those times and places and words...rest assured. She will be there in your humor and joy!
Keep her alive while you are here!

September 1, 2005 at 9:30 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

It is through those images in our mind that those we love live on. Hang on to them and never let them go. I know your mom is with you and watching over you. Of course you miss her but that is only because you loved her so much. I'm glad to hear you are getting on all right though.

We are here for you Larry!

September 1, 2005 at 3:17 PM  
Blogger Memphis said...

I still can't get used to losing my dad. I see things and I immediately think "I wonder what Dad will say when I tell him about that?" And then I remember. He's gone.

August 4, 2006 at 9:51 AM  

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