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Location: huntsville, alabama, United States

i am an addict of laughter and also sadness. i guess basically i am very confused...

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

toilers of the sea

i keep getting on my blog hoping i would have something to write, something to say... but then i always end up staring into the blank screen...

i have been quitely living my life and in some ways, i feel a great deal of comfort in what some may consider a lifeless existence. i have nothing to be pride of, yet i am not ashamed of anything either. i feel that my life is pretty plain...

i have accepted certain things and i feel free because of it.

i have accpeted that i don't have anything to prove to anyone, and that i am not such a special person after all, even though others have tried so hard to convince me that i am special like everyone else. my therapist called it having a good self-esteem. the fact is, i see nothing especially good or bad about me. but, i think realizing that and knowing that it is still life worth living is really about the wisest thing i can do, not to believe that i am better than others by lying to myself...

i really don't have any more dreams and hopes for myself, but i do have some kindness that i can offer others, and really that is all i have left now...

i have been reading this book by victor hugo called toilers of the sea. whether it was my choice or not, i have become an isolated person, like the character in the book, but i still want to be a kind and gentle person that are willing to go out of my way to help others in need....

6 Comments:

Blogger little things said...

Larry
What a great post!
I have also become isolated, and I really like how good it is to be introspective...

March 20, 2007 at 4:08 PM  
Blogger little things said...

Larry
What a great post!
I have also become isolated, and I really like how good it is to be introspective...

March 20, 2007 at 4:08 PM  
Blogger little things said...

Larry
What a great post!
I have also become isolated, and I really like how good it is to be introspective...

March 20, 2007 at 4:08 PM  
Blogger The Girl Within said...

You know what I think the best part about realizing everyone is special so actually that means no one is anyway, is? It's a freedom, a realization that we can't ever win the rat race, no one really wins, so we can be happy with the average, with the mediocre, as long as it's our mediocre, and we're living our lives the way we want, not trying to be so unique may not make us any less or more "special" but at least we don't care enough anymore to give a shit lol.

March 21, 2007 at 9:14 PM  
Blogger larrykim said...

little, i think i got your point... by any chance, have you work in department of redundancy department? anyway, thanks for your comments. i do appreciate your thoughts and opinions very much. i guess in some way i am just trying to figure out how to be content...

girl, i feel free! i want to roll around the fields nakkid as a jay bird, and not worry about grass cuts... well, until it starts to bleed and hurt.

March 22, 2007 at 8:34 AM  
Blogger Memphis said...

I never sought to be isolated either, but somehow I am anyway. I never wanted to be and it makes me unhappy.

April 13, 2007 at 10:40 AM  

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