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Location: huntsville, alabama, United States

i am an addict of laughter and also sadness. i guess basically i am very confused...

Friday, October 13, 2006

i drink to make other people interesting


if you have an upset stomach... say, diarrhea... should you run fast or walk slowly to the bathroom?

here is my thought, if you run or walk fast, you can actually accelerate the percolating process and have a premature detonation due to it's already volatile state because when you walk fast or run, your body gets jerked around quite a bit...

if you walk slowly and cautiously as if you are walking with a bunch of dynamite in your hand, then i think maybe you can make it to the bathroom without actually having an accident. of course this will take longer, so you may have an accident due to the extended transit period.

another question, what if you feel like you are going to have a diarrhea and vomit at the same time... should you sit on the toilet and try to quickly change position to vomit position or should you position yourself in front of the toilet in vomit position and quickly try to jump on the sit?

6 Comments:

Blogger Granny said...

well...since you asked..regarding your last sentence... I DON'T think you should should quickly try to jump on the 'sit'..hahaha...
One time years ago... I got drunker than hell in Branson Missouri.. The next morning I sat on the toilet and puked in the bath tub...lol.. There ya go... There's ya solution...

October 13, 2006 at 4:26 PM  
Blogger it's the little things said...

OH definitely sit on the can and puke in the tub. The problem is that the puke doesn't go down the tub drain, so that makes for a nasty cleaning job when you're already feeling bad.

October 14, 2006 at 8:45 AM  
Blogger Biscuit said...

Ohhhh, I have to second the other ladies on this one. I'm thinking that puking in a toilet that you've already, um, used, would just extend the puke session.

October 16, 2006 at 8:01 AM  
Blogger larrykim said...

granny, what if your bath tub is pretty far away from your toilet? of course, most of the people have a trash can in the bathroom... but, what if you are in the public restroom? no tub, no trash can, just one sigle 'sit'. man, that would suck...

little things, i agree... you are always so practical. i just don't think there is an easy way out of this situation. it's a nasty business when you've got business at both ends...

biscuit, yeah, that would be pretty nasty. but, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... of course you don't have to talk about it or brag about it...

October 16, 2006 at 9:28 AM  
Blogger Memphis Steve said...

You have to sit on the toilet. It was made for your ass. You have to decide, "if I miss the toilet and it ends up on the floor, which would I rather clean up, shit or puke?" If the tub is too far then aim for the trash can. Puke in the trash and shit in the toilet. This is why God made both and why trash cans are portable.

October 16, 2006 at 11:15 AM  
Blogger larrykim said...

steve, your point... taken. however, i don't feel that god made trash cans at all. i think people made trash cans, pyramids, and wal-mart.

October 17, 2006 at 8:56 AM  

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