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Location: huntsville, alabama, United States

i am an addict of laughter and also sadness. i guess basically i am very confused...

Friday, August 27, 2004

hugs 101, part 2

okay, first i am glad to say that i am back from my nasty trip to houston where i had to work more than my regular 1 hour of actually work and 7 hours of goofing off. it was killing me, i tell you. worse yet, they wanted to take me out to eat in the evenings and my internet connection in my hotel room was not working... and blah, blah, blah... anyway, i am so happy to be back home, and back together with my blog. blog... i love you...

now, back to huggies disscussion...

next hug is "i like you, but not like that" hug. this hug involves two arms, but arms never go around the neck, it goes over the shoulders. also, you never ever lift your foot off the ground. you have to maintain both feet on the ground at all times, otherwise you are risking a miscommunication, and you never want to do that. now, for this hug, you do not stick out your butt as far as you do with previous hugs, but sticking out of butt is optional. again, quick tap on the back means... "okay, get your hands off of me now"

next hug is "i like you" hug. there is definitely less concern with wrinkling of clothes or making too much physical contact. with this hug, following are optional:
1. squeeze
2. rest your head on the other person's shoulder
3. lift your heels and stand on your toes

however, following are inappropriate:
1. move your hand down to the other party's buttocks area
2. trying to guess the other person's cup size
(at this point, i would like to apologize to my mom and suzanne. this is just for the humor sake. i am not like that. i promise... i am a good boy)

last and the most important hug is "i love you" hug. this hug takes on many forms, and i have never gotten this hug before, but i have seen it on tv, movies, and also when i used to stalk regularly (just kidding). anyway, this is the only hug that you are allowed to completely leave the ground and jump on the other person. you could also lift one foot and bend your knee more than 90 degrees while standing on your toes with the other foot. anyway, i don't know much about this hug, so i am just gonna stop it here.

i hope this huggie moments were helpful to you women folks out there. i think it is important for us to know what kind of message you are sending when you hug someone. remember, it's always better to be safe than to miss the dismount and end up falling on your face.

if you have any questions about these hugs or want to find out more about hugs, please email larry (that's me). i will be more than happy to send my new book "guide to better hugs by larry kim". it is only $19.99 and i, personally, guarantee that this book will make a good coffee table book or bathroom reading. don't forget to ask about 90 days same as cash credit plan brought to you by "larry kim's loan sharking services, inc."


Blogger Meg said...

Wow, you wrote exactly what I do and know! I've given all of those hugs! I could have written your book and then gotten the royalties. Why didn't I do it first! Darn it, Larry, you beat me to it!

Well, I'm going to work on Kisses 101. I'll beat you to that! Don't you start writing it! I've already called it and it wouldn't be fair for you to steal my thunder again. I have to share my knowledge with the world somehow and there is only so much I know that the world should know. So there.

August 27, 2004 at 9:34 PM  
Blogger Suzanne said...

Larry ~ I must tell you, if I were a younger and available young
woman, I'd give you one big ol hug! I'd give you a hug anyway!!!
Available women of the world, you do not know what you are missing here!!!! If you were a wee bit younger and my other two precious
daughters were a wee bit older, I'd send them off to Alabama for a little while to "Party With Larry" and get a t-shirt.. :)(Don't worry, I believe you are a good boy! ???) Thanks for the sweet respect, adopted son....
So Larry you WILL meet that hugger and she'd just better
appreciate what she has embraced in her arms!

Hey, I see Meggie commented! Oh, how cool! Meggie is one of, well
like family too! Hi, Meggie!!!! Larry, Meggie isn't kidding.
She gives mighty big em hugs! :) I should know, I just got one not too long ago! :)

August 27, 2004 at 10:17 PM  
Blogger wobbeegone said...

You should give hug demonstrations.
Like people give book signings at Barnes & Noble.
Hug demonstrations at your local singles pub...for people who are hug challanged.

August 29, 2004 at 8:27 AM  

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