life of pi

i have been sleeping a lot. it has been very therapeutic. in between naps and sleeps, i have been doing some reflecting as well...

last few years, i have lived my life with vigor, with a sense that i may die tommorrow, lets make the most out of each day, prescribing to cliche' so many young people cling to... carpe diem...

but now i realize, only thing this ideal has given me is a sense of anxiety, reaching for something that can never be reached, how can one ever fill limitless bounds, like a young prepubescent female gymnast striving for perfection, fighting time, holding on with hope against hope...

in the end, now i realize... only thing one is left with is... self-respect. being able to look at oneself in pride rather than disgust...

my new life begins now... not of trying to make the most out of every moment by pursuing happiness, excitement, fun... but in making most out of every moment by appreciating, seeing beauty in what was once plain, not searching for what is out there, but seeing what has always been there...

new chapter of my life... begins...