dreams...

i keep having these dreams... it started when i went on a ski trip with my nephew. i dreamt that i got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. when i got to the kitchen, my mom was there in front of the sink washing dishes. it seemed so natural as if we have lived there for ever. i remember thinking... this is not real... my mom is not alive...

since then i had two more dreams like those. not at the ski resort, but dreams of mom sitting in the living room and in the kitchen of the house i moved in.

last night, i had that dream again. i can't remember the exact conversation, but as i was hugging mom, she told me that i needed to let go... i asked her how can i let go when she keeps appearing in my dreams. she told me... after the funeral, i will not appear in your dreams anymore... at that moment, she didn't seem so alive and well anymore. she started to look pale and lifeless... what funeral? we had her funeral months ago? do dreams ever carry any real meaning? is it all just a jumbled mindless wonderings?