one sick puppy

i started to feel kind of sick yesterday afternoon, so i went home.

every thirty minutes, i had to go to the bathroom. i was peeing out of my butt all night. i think this happened because i wrote about diarrhea last week.

anyway, at one point i was thinking... geez... i need to get some sleep and i can't be going to the bathroom every thirty minutes... so, i decided mayde i should stuff my butt with something, something like a cork. then i thought... what about a tampon? so, as i was inserting "easy glide light day" tampon up my butt (i have a sensitive butt and did not want to try the regular one), my wife walks in the bedroom. so, i am like... this is not what it looks like... i just wanted to get some sleep..

(this story has been embellished a little... just a little. i don't have a wife)