larry's blog

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Location: huntsville, alabama, United States

i am an addict of laughter and also sadness. i guess basically i am very confused...

Thursday, December 30, 2004

how to lose a stalker

someone recently asked me how to lose her stalker. in my case, i don't have to do anything and they just lose interest. however, i realize that there may be some of you out there that are more "stalk-worthy", and you may have harder time getting rid of your stalkers. so, i have come up with some possible ways to lose your stalker. i am planning on writing a book or a movie about it. how to lose a stalker in ten days...

to lose your stalker, one must "know" her stalker. i don't mean that in a biblical sense, i just mean that you have to understand the psyche of your stalker. in general, stalkers fall into three general categories. one is your general run-of-the-mill otherwise normal human being obsessed with an idea that you are his/her one and only, and if they try hard enough that they will somehow win your affection. with this type of a stalker, sometimes by ignoring them, eventually they will give up. but, this may take awhile and meanwhile you live in a state of fright. my advice... be frank. be honest. tell him that you are a lesbian and that you no longer are interested in man. of course, that did not work on me... in fact, i wanted to stalk her even more...

okay, i take that back. don't ever ever say that to a man. better thing to do would be to tell him that you are really not interested in dating him. be up-front.

next stalker type is "i am bored and don't have anything better to do" stalker. now, this type of stalker is much easier to get rid of. tell him to meet you at a local strip joint and don't show up. he will start stalking one of the dancers and pretty soon he won't be bugging you anymore.

another stalker type is more dangerous. they actually enjoy stalking you. i am not sure how to handle this one. you should probably have a man (preferably not the stalker but someone else) come over and live with you for a while until he gives up.

by the way, i am available. at a special low discounted rate since i don't have to go back to work until sometime next week.

another possibility that could work on any of the above described types is to refer him to one of your friends. say.. if you have a friend who is an exhibitionist, maybe... just maybe, they will make a good stalker-stalky combo. by the way, if any of you know of any exhibitionist friends, please let me know.

anyhoo, i hope my stalker corner has been helpful to you...

please don't forget to write in for other relationship advice from yours truly... i am in the know... really

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

cafe baba

cafe baba
Originally uploaded by larrykim.

here he is having a desert with some chic... i have no idea who that girl is...

space monkey

space monkey
Originally uploaded by larrykim.

at my work, we have this award... it's called monkey-on-your-back award. a person who has more work load than anyone else gets this award each quarter. i didn't get it because i don't do anything at work, but i stoled him one night while no one was looking...

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

no more christmas

so... i told my nieces and nephews (all nine of them) that i will no longer celebrate christmas. which in turn meant no presents for them from me. the look of surprise and dismay that quickly swept their darling little faces were just too precious for words. it almost broke my heart... but, then quickly i came back to my senses... and continued on with my prepared speech...

i, your uncle of 15 years for one of you, less than 1 for one of you, and for the rest, somewhere in between, have decided that there is just too much materialism associated with christmas. i mean each one of you get at least ten christmas presents, and that is just too much. there are people starving in india ... or somewhere, and here we are... acting like christmas is some type of special license to spend money on useless things... i just can not participate in this kind of frivolous reckless behavior any longer, for i am too ashamed... that is why i am going away for this christmas... in hopes of helping out those in need, in search of those less fortunate than you... and me... that is why i have purchased a single plane ticket to this little place where many unfortunate children live, a place called cancun... so, you all have a great christmas and i will see you some time next year...

i love kids!!! cuz they will believe anything (santa, easter bunny... and me!!! ha)