one day more...

it's been a long year already. it seems like this year has lasted longer than any that i can recall. it's only been four weeks since my mom passed away, but it seems like years ago...

when at night, i close my eyes, i can see her smiling face reassuring me that she is well. suzanne has told me something about this... feeling the presence of someone so dear, so near...

i am well. i miss her and i wish things could have been different. but, i know no matter what, things are the way they are and it really isn't that bad...

there is that fear of the unknown, thoughts of finalization, end of what we know, see, hear, smell, taste, touch, but i also know that there are realities beyond our five senses. i know it because i can feel it. i can sense her love for me more than ever before...

i have been to the cemetry few times, but i just don't feel any closer to her there. i feel much closer to her when i am alone at night and i close my eyes. i swear i can hear her voice of comfort and assurance... all is well...

only the good die young...

9:23 A.M. thursday, august 4th, 2005... my mom left us for her journey...

our entire family, her three sons, two daughter-in-laws, and nine grandchildren spent all day yesterday praying, holding hands, laughing, loving... she took her time and looked at each one of us for a long time as if to trying to memorize each face forever...

she died peaceful as she has lived...

i am grateful for her precious gift to her sons. i am grateful for her love that is forever embedded in my heart. i am grateful and proud for her strength, wisdom, peace, and love.

how can i possibly be sad when i am so proud of my mom and my family, and there is so much love... i am not sad, i am happy and grateful for all the things, especially the peace and serenity my mom left with us...

i love you, mom... i will miss your smile and laughter, but i know i don't have to miss your love because it will always be with me...